Drinky drinky fests

If you want to get shnockered at a festival this weekend, you won't have to look far. And if you live in downtown Orlando, that's even better, I got two biggies:

Rumfest 2007 at Wall St. Plaza in downtown Orlando. Pay $20 in advance, or $25 day of for nonstop samples of daiquiris, punches, and anything you can imagine rum-related. These are one of those fests that are definitely worth it. It's Saturday from 5 p.m. - 2 a.m. and from past experience I can tell you that you should get there as early as possible.

Beertoberfest at Church Street in front of Mako's in downtown Orlando. If the Monsters from Real Radio 104.1 FM are holding court for a festival, it's going to be wild. A Miss Monster Bikini contest and $3 giant beers just seals the deal. It's $10 to get in and lasts from 4 - 10 p.m.

More Improv news

Turns out Cameron Kuhn is not incredibly worried about what he'll do with the space that The Improv once occupied. He already has something lined up for it in fact. How surprising: another high-end steak house! Because the one up the street just isn't enough for an area where the only draw for the past few years was a comedy club that brought in big-name comedians from around the U.S. But since that's gone, another steakhouse should do the trick. Yeah, right.

Here's the story on it from the Sentinel today:

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/business/orl-church0407oct04,0,6061434.story?coll=orl_tab03_layout

After writing yesterday's blog I started thinking about how many nightlife spots Kuhn has killed over the last couple of years. I'm all about the lists lately! If I'm leaving any out feel free to comment folks!

Scruffy Murphy's

Eli's Cribb

Thee Grotto

Alpha Bar

Corner Bar

Global Grape

Orlando Improv

Orlando Improv closes

According to Bob Joyce, general manager of the Tampa Improv, the Orlando Improv is closed effective immediately. Both comedy stores are under the same ownership and Joyce has been in Orlando trying to help with some of the problems the Orlando location has been having with now landlord of Church Street Station Cameron Kuhn. Joyce says they are seeking a lawsuit against Kuhn for breaches in contract, one of them being not renewing the club’s liquor license. He wouldn’t comment any further but to say an official press release will be sent out on Monday and the Orlando Improv is actively seeking a new location.

Bombs away

I was hanging at McRaney’s Tavern the other night, celebrating Jen’s birthday, she would be one of the bartenders who work at the bar and one of the best in town.

It was the second occasion this month I’ve had a sake bomb, we ordered them for a birthday toast. Earlier in the month Jen had ordered a round for my birthday, so my wonderful fiancé Casey returned the favor for Jen.

Normally a sake bomb consists of a pint of beer and a shot of sake as illustrated in the diagram to the left. But the version we all drank that night in cheers to Jen had Sparks instead, which I actually preferred at the moment considering I was still doctoring a hangover from the night before at karaoke with the kids who dug Axl. It also makes sense because most “bomb” drinks have an energy drink in the ingredients.

I’m really not a drink “bomb” kinda gal, it’s just screams frat house party to me, but from all the “bomb” specials you see in bars and the amount of people who get them (who usually look like they’re in a fraternity), it’s obviously popular. While I was wondering this, I wondered how many bomb concoctions have been formed around this drinking trend? So when I should had been working I came up with the list below, not a lot but still more than I thought, I’ve only heard of the first two.

Sake bomb I mentioned above.

Jägerbomb: a cocktail combining one shot of Jägermeister dropped into a glass of an energy drink, usually Red Bull.

A-Bomb - a shot glass with Jägermeister dropped into a glass of Tequila mixed with Sambuca.

UniBomber - Unicum and Mountain Dew AMP Energy Drink.

Looks like whoever was behind these energy drinks’ campaigns was a genius. Damn, I’m thirsty.

This dumb, surreal, drunken American life

I feel like Ira Glass from "This American Life" with this blog today, because it comes to you in two acts. And the theme is, "What the f*** is wrong with you?"

Our first act takes place in the new Dolce Nightclub (formerly Club Paris for those of you who live in a cave). I'm not reviewing it here, but giving a slice of the evening that stood out the most. However, if you would like to read my review you can check it out here.

Back to the story, so the club is blue and green now and there is no way to get into the building from the old entrance without getting pounced by the small army of security casing the joint. That said, I entered from

Church Street

into a tunnel of smoke that rivals anything at Halloween Horror Nights at Universal. Once inside, I grabbed a drink and started people watching. Turns out the old entrance wasn't off limits to everyone, the owner walked through it into the club with about four, I'm sure what he would consider, hotties. He parked them out on the dance floor and went on his merry way.

Now, I don't know if he thought no one would notice this but of course I did. What I noticed next was pretty funny. One of the girls had a dress on that went to about the bottom of her butt cheeks. There were holes on the sides of the dress making it obvious this young las forgot to put on her knickers before heading out.

Yeah, I don't think she forgot either.

Which is fine, but what she did next just made her look like a fake ass. She goes to the stage with all her buddies hops right up and sits down on said stage. Now how the dress stayed where it did amazed me. Then her friend started taking pictures of her on the stage. Her just sitting there and completely exposed to the crowd.

I just figured the owner brought them in to get people to come out to the dance floor, because let's face it, hot girls with barely any clothes on is a good draw. It's worked for strip clubs for years. But for this girl to act surprised and shocked after she took the camera from her friend to look at her photo and see her nether regions were in the shot was just stupid. Honey, you know you had no underwear on and you're sitting legs open on a stage in a dress. What did you think would be in the picture? Other folks at the bar caught this as well and were snickering along with me. Whether she noticed or not, I have no idea, but her and her friends left there dance area shortly after. I may have been standing in the former Club Paris, but all of a sudden I couldn’t get Britney Spears out of my head. Dumbass.

This brings us to Act II, karaoke last night at the Lucky Leprechaun Pub on I-Drive. As much as I know I-Drive is a family-friendly tourist trap, it still shocked me upon arrival to the pub that kids were running around inside. I’m sure the folks from

Europe

have their internal clocks way off, so the fact that it was 10 at night didn’t bother me too much.

I was sitting in the back with all of my friends talking about what song we were going to sing next when I saw the monitor in front of me state some guy and gal were about to sing “Welcome to the Jungle” by Guns N’ Roses. My inner hair-rawker got excited and turned around to face the stage.

And that was when I saw who was going to sing this song about living on the streets in a strange city. It was no guy or gal but a little boy and little girl about the ages of 9 and 6 if I had to guess. Excessive drinking has wiped their names clean from my memory bank, so let’s call them Hansel and Gretel.

“I don’t think this is what Axl Rose had in mind when he wrote this,” said one of my friends. But you couldn’t help but watch. And where the hell the parents were was anyone’s guess. Whether young Hansel was really trying to channel Axl’s rage with his up and down movements or was trying to get himself high enough to reach the top of the mic stand is anybody’s guess.

But the best was when Hansel bellowed out the lyrics like a young Peter Brady, “YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE…?” In which I cut him off and said, “In a bar, with a lot of drunk adults singing Guns N’ Roses children.”

Just when you think you have seen everything, there’s always something that slips in the back door.

Full-service dining

I had to spotlight this reader review I read earlier today on the site for Matthew Steaks & More in Ocoee. It turns out the restaurant has another idea of what the "More" means in its name.

"A few years ago I took my wife out for a nice dinner at Matthew's Steaks and MORE. (See review Sept 20, 2004) Matthew actually served us. Several months later Matthew slept with my wife and broke up our marriage. I don't recommend this place."

Keep the reviews coming folks.

More Irish pub news

So, I just got word that the Harp & Celt will be opening its doors Monday in downtown Orlando. This is the Irish pub/seafood restaurant that took the space Scruffy Murphy's originally claimed to be moving into after its original downtown location closed.

Here's what I found on their Web site:

"The Crawfish Company Of Central Florida, Inc. and the Cottage Irish Pubs, Inc. have teamed up to form the new corporation: “Cajun Paddy, Inc." owned and operated by Kathy and James Mulvaney and Lisa and Rick Boyd.

The Cajun Paddy, Inc. will be mixing American and Irish heritage in a new and stimulating package opening the “Harp & Celt Restaurant and Irish Pub”, set for opening early August 2007 in the Historic District of downtown Orlando located at 25 South Magnolia Street. The Celt Irish Pub will open it's doors for the first time on Monday, August 13, 2007 at 11:00 AM. The Harp Restaurant will open it's doors for the first time on Friday, August 17 for dinner at 5:30 PM.

The Harp will be an upscale fine dining restaurant serving award winning dishes for the lunch and dinner crowd. Cody Patterson, our Le Cordon Bleu Chef is a graduate of the Orlando Culinary Institute, bringing some of the finest recipes and culinary delights to the palates of Central Florida. Fresh Fish from the Florida and the Louisiana coasts teamed up with our Angus Beef steaks will be the core ingredient of downtown Orlando’s newest and only dedicated seafood restaurant.

The Celt, next door to the Harp, will be a traditional Irish Pub serving traditional Irish beers and imports. The beer selection will be large, satisfying the tastes and whims of any beer fanatic. Included will be a full liquor bar and the finest wines available. Serving lunch and dinner will be an extensive menu of award winning Irish foods. Come and enjoy traditional and modern Irish music with music seisiun's being organized on a monthly basis."

I'll check it out next week and let you know what I think.

Get a drink named after you!

Peacock Room on Mills Avenue in Orlando will be giving one mack daddy of a prize to the millionth customer that walks through its entrance door this month: a drink named after the customer. According to Peacock's owner Dave Rich, not only will the person get a drink named after them, they'll also have their picture placed on the "award" wall and a nice little bar tab to boot.

They're basing the number on average drink price and annual sales to this point. Since they're still working on this, a specific date has not been announced yet for you to walk in and out of their door until they scream, "You won!!!!" When I find out I'll post it immediately.

My two cents on Bliss

So I'm not pushing this column too hard this week on CityBeat, just because you would be blitzed with Bliss knowledge between Paul's "Inside" piece this week and my column. But I thought if you were interested I would give you a little linky dink to check it out. Paul and I both went the same night (why he's mentioned), so you'll find we're pretty much of the same opinion for the most part.

http://orlandocitybeat.metromix.com/bars-and-clubs/orlent-kelly2007jul20,0,1374172.column?coll=orlnatent-bars-headlines

Have a great weekend guys!

Drunken Monkey gives us the 411

After blogging about the Drunken Monkey the other day, I received an email from co-owner Larry Hardin shortly after, just giving me the skinny on what the "Monkey" may or may not be getting drunk from:

"The monkey's not getting drunk on anything.  We are right next to the Baptist church.  Our original plan was to have beer and wine but this locale became available and was so perfect otherwise, we had to take it... Anyway, Drunken Monkey was named after a dessert (Drunken Monkey ice cream) and the kung fu style (Drunken Monkey Kung Fu... there's a film of that title too), not for any implied imbibing.

We love the folks at Dandelion and actually Julie (one of the owner's) knows all about us and had been very helpful with advice.  We love her and have the same open and mutually supportive attitude about any independent, organic and/or eco-friendly businesses.   We don't compete much.  They are a tea house and we are a coffeehouse.  They are hands down the winning hippies.  We are not worthy.  Believe me, we will be sending them as much business as we can.  We do want those 'spoken word, crunchy, vegan, drum circle-types' but we want them to hit Dandelion too just as much as they do now."

Thanks for the scoop Larry!

Drunken Monkey

You have to love the name: Drunken Monkey Coffee Bar. My friend John made me aware of the place this past weekend, when he drove down Bumby in Orlando and saw Conway's BBQ has gone the way of the wind and there was a sign in the window stating as much. Not to say I was completely surprised, everytime you drove by Conway's you'd be lucky if you caught a cat in their dumpster. I went in once, because I felt bad they had no business at the Bumby location. And the food was pretty decent.

As far as the tanked ape's new joint, it opens in September and this is what its Web site has to say:

"Drunken Monkey Coffee Bar was conceived to fill the need for excellent coffee and healthy foods in Orlando.  We offer...

• Freshly roasted espresso/coffee/coffee beans daily.
• Homemade gourmet soups drummed up fresh in our kitchen by Soupcon owner John.
• Yummy muffins, cookies, and pastry items made from scratch.
• Lots of veggie, vegan and organic choices.
• Xylitol-based goodies (sugarfree but good for you! seriously check out xylitol).
• Open mike entertainment.
• Convenient drive thru expresso-based fixes."

I love the line: "Drunken Monkey Coffee Bar was conceived to fill the need for excellent coffee and healthy foods in Orlando." I wonder what the folks at Dandelion Communitea have to say about that, although their focus is tea and not coffee. I would love to see them play it out like the Jets and the Sharks and end up having a tree hugoff.

It could also be the same owners forcing a hippie monopoly. How's that for an oxymoron? Either way, I'm looking into it. No mention of alcohol on the site... hmmm. There better be some damn booze if you got a liquored up monkey as your mascot.

One thing is for sure, the new coffee bar will be yet another destination for many of the spoken word, crunchy, vegan, drum circle-types in this town. In otherwords, this business model will get a crowd no doubt.

Miami heat

And I'm not referring to the basketball team. Good god, it's as hot as hell down there. Sorry it looked like I abandoned you all the past few days, I just got back from a quick vacation I took down there -- business for my fiance Casey and sitting around a pool for me. Actually not that much sitting around the pool, after a chapter and a half of reading my book (approximately 20 min) I burned so bad my chest looked like one of those horrible hypercolor shirts whenever someone pressed their finger on me. I'm an irish gal, what can I say?

The party we went to the night before, sorry, crashed the night before in Miami Beach made up for it. Of course, it was completely by accident. We were meeting my cousin at The Shore Club, a poshy 5-star hotel. Everything in the lobby is draped in white and the ladies' bathroom looks like the white room at Pulse in Orlando, minus the bar. As Casey put it, "I'm officially now out of my element." Many of the parties for the conference he was attending took place in the back of the hotel by the pool. We went all the way to the back and just kinda walked in, no ID check, no wristband check just an open bar with top shelf liquor waiting ahead.

Security is damn lax here we thought, but by the second Tanqueray and tonic we noticed there were bouncers everywhere except the one entrance we stumbled into. Which was lucky because my cousin called a couple minutes later to inform us we were at the wrong party. Same location, just different pool. And cash bar we come to find out. So we bounced back and forth between the two and finally the guards kind of gave up, took down the rope offs and the parties became one. All because of Casey and me. Well maybe not entirely, but toward the end of the evening, looking at what appeared to be a scene from a bad CW show, I did feel a twang of pride.

Or it might had been just my stomach telling me to forget the eighth gin and tonic and head the hell back to our own hotel. Either way, it was good times.

What's the deal?

Since I love you all (and I really do), I've decided to start the blog off today on a good note. Tonight head over to Phat-n-Jazzy at The Social for their new special that will knock your liver out of downtown Orlando. For $5 at the door you not only get in and listen to some cool music, but you drink free wells, imports and domestic drafts until midnight.

The last time I attended this night they didn't have this deal and it was a ghost town inside, I was one of maybe 10 people the whole time I was there. Please fix this folks, this is a long-running night at a great venue with killer drink specials. You're just plain dumb if you don't go.

Now for the bad note. Living in Thornton Park I'm well aware of the pretension that surrounds me (it's kinda hard to miss). But how I love the area so, I could just do without some of the people. Once upon a time a restaurant named HUE opened to cater to, what seemed to me, those people specifically. I went only once for brunch (and it was good, I will say) but for the most part avoided the yuppiness. Some time later, a new restaurant opened called Shari, right next door. But they had a happy hour that everyone could appreciate, $3 select sushi rolls and $4 saketinis (a martini with sake instead of gin). I saw a mixture of types in the crowd the three or four times I went and didn't feel out of place in the slightest, and yet, I was still on that corner in Thornton Park.

Well those days are long gone, the recent expansion of Shari, seems to have brought on an expansion of ego by the restaurant as well. Friday night, my best friend Kristin comes to visit. Kristin is all about style, so this hanging with the beautiful people sort of crap amuses her to no end. But she's also frugal with her money so I decided the perfect choice for our Friday evening out would be Shari. My fiance Casey came along as well. We were dressed business casual I would say, I even wore my Coach bag for crying out loud. But yet, we stood and waited for a table to "open up" in the hot sun with two other couples. In the meantime, other people (who clearly recognized the five hostesses standing out front, do we really need five?) were brought right in.

Once the other two couples were brought in they quickly exited. I imagine they tried to hide them in a corner from the pretty people, even though in my book, they looked a lot more normal than half the plastic in the joint. That said, we were asked if we would sit at the sushi bar. Fine, we say. Again forgotten. But two girls come up and are seated instantly. That was our cue to go, believe it or not, over to HUE.

Maybe the folks had reservations, but none of that was discussed with people at the door. They just walked right in while we were sent off to the side. A friend of mine, who loves the place, said her recent experience there was poor as well. Surprisingly, HUE was quite comfortable, there was a mix of people on the front porch, it was as if the two restaurants switched crowds. Service was friendly, although the bill was not. Four cosmos, two glasses of wine, three salads and two soups later had us looking at a bill over $100.

I guess some things never change.

Free food, free beer, free cupcakes!

It's true, you can have free food, free beer and free cupcakes at Redlight Redlight tonight all for $5 at the door. What are the freebies for? Who cares, it's free!

But if you must know, this wonderful bar in Winter Park is celebrating its two-year anniversary tonight. And not only will you be stuffing your hole with free goodies and beer, some bands will actually take time out from their own eating to entertain you as well including John Ralston, Summer Blankets and The Dark Romantics. Party starts at 7 p.m.

Orlando Brewing gives you brats

It turns out you'll be able to chew on something as you take another gulp from a pint at Orlando Brewing Company. At least toward the end of the week. I just received this press release sent out from the Orlando Brewing folks:

"Eat, drink and be merry. It is easy to do all three at Orlando Brewing. Three days a week, Fred's Franks will be setting up shop right at the Taproom. High quality Boar's Head Hot Dogs and Brats will be cooked fresh and hot. Fred and his franks will be here Thursdays and Fridays (4pm to 8pm), and Saturday (6pm to 9pm)."

I love Boar's Head! Yum...

Yeah, I'm a genius!

So thank you to those of you alerting me to the photo issue in yesterday's blog. It's fixed now and since the people who guessed correctly, or let me know what a dumbass I am, are all ineligible, the contest is still on.

I'm telling you it's this past weekend that has made my mind into this luke warm lump of mush that it is. Although, in my FMF travels in downtown Orlando, I did get a chance to swing by Suite B, and enjoy the space as an intimate music venue and I have to say I like it a lot. It's no Bodhisattva reincarnate, anyone that has been by Suite B knows it carries a way different vibe. However, I did dig it as a music venue and I think they should embrace that facet of the club a bit more.

Speaking of live music, tonight The Dark Romantics and Band Marino, will be playing at The Social with national act Lovedrug. I just discovered The Dark Romantics this past weekend at the festival and I enjoyed what I heard and saw, and Band Marino is Band Marino, enough said. Just for those two acts alone it's worth the $10 cover.

Anyone needing an accordionist can contact Jimmy Bubaloni.

Happy Birthday Bull & Bush

Our very own Winchester (Shaun of the Dead reference, shame on you for not knowing) is celebrating its 20th anniversary tomorrow night. I write about it in this week's bars & clubs column, along with a couple of other interesting little tid bits.

And shame on me for not remembering to use the Winchester reference in the column. Thanks for the reminder Jeff!

Even though it rained, it was a solid first night for the Florida Music Festival last night. By the way, to everyone who attended the Flogging Molly show, was that great or what? Thanks to the boyfriend, we found a perfect perch in the form of the Monkey Bar balcony to view the show from. I don't think I've seen that many people jammed into Wall St. Plaza ever. And considering all the functions Wall St. puts on, that's quite a statement.

Funniest part of the evening, was before the Flogging Molly show I stopped by Vintage which is the venue for many of the acoustic acts during the Florida Music Festival. It was obvious, the rich regulars behind the velvet ropes had no idea what was going on. Even better, I had my "I Love Nerds" T-shirt on. I could see the eyes rolling even though my back was turned.

Fantastic night! 

UCF Tailgaiting Part II

I read this in the Orlando Sentinel today and thought I would share, still doesn't make me feel much better about the tailgaiting situation:

UCF gears up for football frenzy

Officials' preparation for the home opener Sept. 15 includes fan parking and tailgating.

Luis Zaragoza | Sentinel Staff Writer
Posted May 14, 2007

University of Central Florida officials say construction of the new football stadium is progressing on schedule for its planned fall opening.

On a parallel track is planning for another monumental task: moving more than 40,000 fans on and off campus on game days.

Al Harms, special assistant to UCF President John Hitt, is orchestrating planning for everything from parking to tailgating. He gave local business representatives and UCF staff a status report Friday on how the campus east of Orlando will cope with crowds that will include many people unfamiliar with the area.

When it comes to preparation for that first home game Sept. 15 and those to follow, Harms said, UCF is looking closely at:

Directional signs: UCF hasn't had a thorough update of its on-campus signs in nearly 20 years, Harms said. A consulting firm is studying how to update signs, first to point people to parking, then to highlight campus buildings.

Campus access: Some two-way campus roads will be turned into one-way streets at specific times to get vehicles in and out as efficiently as possible. Fans also will be discouraged from entering campus from the north to prevent gridlock on residential streets on that end of campus.

Parking: Fans with tickets will not have to pay for parking on campus, Harms said, a deliberate move to discourage parking in residential neighborhoods. Parking structures and lots closest to the stadium will be earmarked for major donors and VIPs. Every other available parking spot on campus will be fair game, with reserved parking privileges suspended at designated times. The first floor of a parking structure near the stadium will be set aside for disabled drivers.

Shuttles: Existing campus shuttles will focus on moving students onto campus from nearby affiliated housing. Still to be decided is where students will be dropped off. It won't necessarily be very close to the stadium, because the street in front of it will be closed to traffic to increase pedestrian safety. Shuttles will not take fans from one end of the campus to the other either, mainly because traffic volume will make it impractical, Harms said. So fans parking across campus from the stadium should expect to do some walking.

Tailgating: Fans will not be allowed to hold tailgate parties next to their vehicles in parking structures and paved lots. Instead, they will be encouraged to leave their vehicles behind and take their snacks and drinks to grass-covered areas on campus. Alcohol consumption will be allowed on the lawns with some restrictions. Underage drinking will not be tolerated, Harms said. Alcohol will not be allowed inside the stadium, he said.

With about four months left before the first game day, many logistical details on game-day operations remain to be sorted out, Harms said. A special Web site that will offer fans details on how to navigate the campus on game days is in the works, he said.

Bright House Stadium has 45,000 seats and a $55 million price tag. Next season's opening home game against the University of Texas is expected to draw about 4,000 Texas fans, school officials said. Since its first season in 1979, UCF's football team has played its home games at the Florida Citrus Bowl in Orlando. UCF's stadium will be used solely for football, unlike stadiums at other schools that allow other sporting and cultural events.

The stadium is part of a developing campus sports complex that includes a 10,000-seat basketball stadium/performance venue currently under construction.

The two venues are scheduled to be completed around the same time as the stadium in late summer. Both will be self-sustaining through ticket sales and naming-rights fees, school officials said.

UCF football = no tailgaiting

As most of us are aware, there is no alcohol allowed during collegiate events on the campus of UCF, which means no beer with that UCF football come fall. That's because the new Bright House Networks Stadium (new UCF stadium) will be open for business. No longer at the Citrus Bowl in downtown Orlando, this is where the football games will be played from here on out.

No alcohol allowed, even though they have a bar on campus, but that's another rant entirely.

A lot of colleges have to actually abide by this law. That's why they load up their grills and their coolers in the car, park and then proceed to get loaded in the parking lots outside the football arenas before the game. It's this little thing called tailgating.

But that won't be the case with UCF.

UCF will have a parking garage that will serve as the main parking facility for the new stadium. I guess you could conceivably throw down beers there as well (I have before, but that was a hospital parking garage, long story). But the fun of sitting in the sun, throwing the Frisbee, having water gun fights is all a part of it too. It doesn't make sense to put that much money behind the football team, and leave out one of the main elements of the whole shebang.

Or maybe this isn't an issue at all, except to the alchies in the audience like you and me. I guess I'll have to dust off the flask and suck it up. Just wanted to see what anyone else thought about this?

But liquor is quicker

I recently discovered a place that is like the adult equivalent of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory, thanks to my co-worker and video game guru Jeff.

If you haven’t visited the Total Wine & More store at 2712 E. Colonial Drive in Orlando you need to do yourself (and your wallet) a favor and stop by. I'm not usually big on endorsing stores, but this place is the size of a Publix, completely devoted to wine, beer and liquor. You can mix and match your own custom six pack of domestic or imported bottles of beer, buy a 12-pack for a buck fifty to two bucks cheaper than average or just wander down the aisles of wine and liquor. They even sell kegs of Smithwicks. I know it’s a chain, and some of you are familiar with liquor megastores such as this, but I had to pick my jaw up from the floor when I walked in and thought I would share with the group.

New York, New York

After delayed flights into Nor'easters, lots of Guinness, me falling down stairs and sheets of ice almost falling on me (from six stories up), I'm back from my St. Paddy's trip in NYC. It was so much fun, even as ice pellets were striking me between the eyes as I smoke a cigarette outside (no smoking in restaurants AND bars up there).

I love that city, there are so many different ways to get killed while having a blast the whole time.

But since I'm back I'll be heading out to Peacock Room on Friday to say goodbye to a bit of the crazy this town has been offering over the past three years. Tammy Kopko will be ending her popular Cocktail Hour event. The closing episode will revolve around Spring Break, so you can only imagine. The night will include keg stands, wet T-shirt contests and of course those wonderful free shots. The night will start up at 10 p.m.

And where is Miss Kopko going you ask? New York City, of course. But not until the summer, probably a smart move!

Win a prize!!!

I'm no Curtis Earth, hell, I'm definitely no Mandaddy, but I'm in the giving mood with it being the holidays and all so I thought I would throw a trivia question out there to you guys. Whoever answers me first wins a movie ticket to Winter Park Regal. I don't even know if I'm allowed to do this but what the hell, I'm bored...

Okay, found a new bar the other night that I love, Odin's Den in Winter Park has a kick-ass selection on the jukebox, CHEAP DRINKS and a decent burger. I got a kick out of the staff's T-Shirts most of all, the slogan on the back reminded me of the slogan of another bar I once loved very much but is no longer open.

Now for the trivia, anyone (with the exception of Casey and Paul who were there with me, and John Graham) that can tell me that slogan and the symbol on the back of the staffs' shirts at Odin's Den will win the movie ticket. Ready.. Set... GO!!!

A couple of poppers and a few puffs = Perfection

You know what I love? Jalapeno poppers. The gooey cream cheese, the spicy pepper and fried-goodness of it all. If a sports bar offers poppers I’m there. Another prerequisite for a sports bar is an outdoor smoking section. My friends and I watch football every Sunday, and if you offer us a smoking section we’ll plant our asses down at your establishment for a few hours, eating your food and drinking your beer while you take our money.

That’s why I’m boggled at the business model of Buffalo Wild Wings that offers neither. Now this isn’t a blog purely on Buffalo Wild Wings, our faithful (and inebriated) "Go Inside" writer Paul Hiebing filled you in on the restaurant quite well this week. This is purely a rant because I’m hungry (it’s lunchtime) and I was pissed last Sunday when my popper, smokin’-lovin’ self went to the Oviedo location where there was a table for the help to smoke (on the side of the building) and nothing for the customers. That’s fine they don’t want us, I don’t want them. And, as you probably guessed they had no poppers so we left before we even took a seat.

Where did we go you’re wondering? We drove over to Froggers on Alafaya Trail, that place knows how to treat ALL customers. Not only did they have jalapeno poppers but a big honkin’ tent out in the front of the store, complete with a wide screen TV. Now you had to hit the TV every once in a while to get sound out of it, but they let us smoke while we hit it. Now that’s service.

Okay, enough with this nonsense, I’m going to have lunch now.

Natura update

Got an update on what's happening with Natura folks, it's running in my column on Friday but since you are all valuable readers of this here blog, thought I would reward you with a sneak peek:

"...the Say Anything Slam is looking for a new home since Natura Café at DMAC shut its doors last weekend.

If you’re worried about the Natura Café down by UCF, it’s still running strong. According to Brandon Haydon, manager of the downtown location, the owner of the historic Rogers Building that housed DMAC and the cafe closed their shop because of renovations he’s doing on the building. The café will be moving to its new location in the downtown Expo Center on Livingston Street — an interesting choice — sometime next week, although he’s not sure if the hookahs still will be allowed.

As far as the Say Anything Slam, if you have any ideas on where it can move, let me know and I’ll definitely send them along to slam mistress Dani O."

So the downtown location did find a new home, however, not quite sure how that will work and what kind of crowd it will attract. More business- and convention- types I'm sure, I guess that remains to be seen.

Toast bad news with a martini

Looks like the demise of DMAC didn't help the downtown location of Natura and they closed their doors yesterday. I was really rooting for that place, which is very popular at its UCF location, but didn't quite pick up that momentum downtown. It will be missed and sadder yet, the closing will be displacing another open mike night around town. Dani O, hostess of the Say Anything Slam, that moved not too long ago from Austin's in Winter Park because of closing rumors, is looking for a new home... AGAIN... Any good words for Miss O. on where she should go, just let me know.

That rhyme was cheesy and totally done on purpose, a slam poet I am not. But now that I have you guys all down in the dumps, here's some good news. Mark on your calendars this Thursday as the date you need to be on Church Street in downtown Orlando for Martinifest 2006. Normally a part of the Wall Street landscape, I guess a rumfest and a martinifest in one week might be a bit too much. This is one of, if not, the best sampling festivals this town has to offer, plenty to choose from and the lines aren't as bad as most liquorfests. Tickets to Martinifest 2006 are $25 prior to the event and $30 at the door and will take place from 6 - 9 p.m.

Come on, shake your body baby, do the conga OR Pass the salsa

Metrowest Sports Bar and Mexican Grill on Kirkman should win the "Everything But The Kitchen Sink" award this week. I mean, if they just had Karaoke somewhere in that title it would have totally sealed the deal. I went on a Bar Bites binge with CityBeat's Bar Bites' writer John Graham to the bar that wants to be everything to everyone last night. I will say though, burritos and beer is a nice break from the normal wings dealy at most sports bars.

But that is not why I post today. John can tell you more about the food and drink later. The reason why I write is because the place is not only a sports bar, a mexican joint and grill, but they also offer salsa lessons every Monday, Tuesday and Thursday from 6 – 8 p.m.

Tanya, the senior señorita here at CityBeat wanted to jump up and shake her hips with the rest of the crowd (and by crowd I mean roughly 6 – 8 people) taking the lessons in the front of the room. She tried to get me to jump on that bandwagon, in which I gulped down my beer and yelled "What wagon?" Before hightailing it out the front door, Tanya clarified she didn’t want me to "get on the wagon" she just wanted me to dance because she wanted to. Screw that, I had a beer to drink. John asked if we thought skinnier or heavier women were better at dancing salsa.

Huh?

Anyway I’ve diverted from my original point. Besides offering everything else, if you’re looking to take salsa lessons, Metrowest Sports Bar and Mexican Grill offers $10 dance lessons as well. Adios!

Win a $500 gift certificate OR I would really love a burger right now

I swear O-Rock does not have me in their pocket book, but this looked pretty interesting and I thought I would share with the class:

http://www.orock1059.com/contests/contest11.shtml