Drinky drinky fests

If you want to get shnockered at a festival this weekend, you won't have to look far. And if you live in downtown Orlando, that's even better, I got two biggies:

Rumfest 2007 at Wall St. Plaza in downtown Orlando. Pay $20 in advance, or $25 day of for nonstop samples of daiquiris, punches, and anything you can imagine rum-related. These are one of those fests that are definitely worth it. It's Saturday from 5 p.m. - 2 a.m. and from past experience I can tell you that you should get there as early as possible.

Beertoberfest at Church Street in front of Mako's in downtown Orlando. If the Monsters from Real Radio 104.1 FM are holding court for a festival, it's going to be wild. A Miss Monster Bikini contest and $3 giant beers just seals the deal. It's $10 to get in and lasts from 4 - 10 p.m.

Eli's Chop Shop

For those of you who remember the days of the Dolive Building, when it actually had cool bars and shops and wasn't just an eyesore on Orange Avenue, should remember Eli Tobias.

Eli was owner of Eli's Cribb and Thee Grotto in downtown Orlando before he was forced to close so the building could stand vacant for years in downtown Orlando. But now, Eli has opened a compound of sorts in Winter Park on Fairbanks Avenue. He calls the area "Eli's Chop Shop" and it consists of Black Chapel Tattoo Studio, a mixed martial arts academy called American Combat Club and his wife's business, the Sandi Tobias Photography Studio.

It's the tattoo shop I'm really interested in, according to Eli it's "a nightclub/tattoo shop hybrid." He says the best decor from Thee Grotto is in there including the giant fish tank.

Welcome back Eli, I'll be stopping by the Black Chapel real soon.

Bombs away

I was hanging at McRaney’s Tavern the other night, celebrating Jen’s birthday, she would be one of the bartenders who work at the bar and one of the best in town.

It was the second occasion this month I’ve had a sake bomb, we ordered them for a birthday toast. Earlier in the month Jen had ordered a round for my birthday, so my wonderful fiancé Casey returned the favor for Jen. Sakebomb

Normally a sake bomb consists of a pint of beer and a shot of sake as illustrated in the diagram to the left. But the version we all drank that night in cheers to Jen had Sparks instead, which I actually preferred at the moment considering I was still doctoring a hangover from the night before at karaoke with the kids who dug Axl. It also makes sense because most “bomb” drinks have an energy drink in the ingredients.

I’m really not a drink “bomb” kinda gal, it’s just screams frat house party to me, but from all the “bomb” specials you see in bars and the amount of people who get them (who usually look like they’re in a fraternity), it’s obviously popular. While I was wondering this, I wondered how many bomb concoctions have been formed around this drinking trend? So when I should had been working I came up with the list below, not a lot but still more than I thought, I’ve only heard of the first two.

  • Sake bomb I mentioned above.
  • Jägerbomb: a cocktail combining one shot of Jägermeister dropped into a glass of an energy drink, usually Red Bull.
  • A-Bomb - a shot glass with Jägermeister dropped into a glass of Tequila mixed with Sambuca.
  • UniBomber - Unicum and Mountain Dew AMP Energy Drink.
  • Looks like whoever was behind these energy drinks’ campaigns was a genius. Damn, I’m thirsty.

    This dumb, surreal, drunken American life

    Iraglass_udpated I feel like Ira Glass from "This American Life" with this blog today, because it comes to you in two acts. And the theme is, "What the f*** is wrong with you?"

    Our first act takes place in the new Dolce Nightclub (formerly Club Paris for those of you who live in a cave). I'm not reviewing it here, but giving a slice of the evening that stood out the most. However, if you would like to read my review you can check it out here.

    Back to the story, so the club is blue and green now and there is no way to get into the building from the old entrance without getting pounced by the small army of security casing the joint. That said, I entered from

    Church Street
    into a tunnel of smoke that rivals anything at Halloween Horror Nights at Universal. Once inside, I grabbed a drink and started people watching. Turns out the old entrance wasn't off limits to everyone, the owner walked through it into the club with about four, I'm sure what he would consider, hotties. He parked them out on the dance floor and went on his merry way.

    Now, I don't know if he thought no one would notice this but of course I did. What I noticed next was pretty funny. One of the girls had a dress on that went to about the bottom of her butt cheeks. There were holes on the sides of the dress making it obvious this young las forgot to put on her knickers before heading out.

    Yeah, I don't think she forgot either.

    Which is fine, but what she did next just made her look like a fake ass. She goes to the stage with all her buddies hops right up and sits down on said stage. Now how the dress stayed where it did amazed me. Then her friend started taking pictures of her on the stage. Her just sitting there and completely exposed to the crowd.

    I just figured the owner brought them in to get people to come out to the dance floor, because let's face it, hot girls with barely any clothes on is a good draw. It's Britneyspears_updated_2 worked for strip clubs for years. But for this girl to act surprised and shocked after she took the camera from her friend to look at her photo and see her nether regions were in the shot was just stupid. Honey, you know you had no underwear on and you're sitting legs open on a stage in a dress. What did you think would be in the picture? Other folks at the bar caught this as well and were snickering along with me. Whether she noticed or not, I have no idea, but her and her friends left there dance area shortly after. I may have been standing in the former Club Paris, but all of a sudden I couldn’t get Britney Spears out of my head. Dumbass.

    This brings us to Act II, karaoke last night at the Lucky Leprechaun Pub on I-Drive. As much as I know I-Drive is a family-friendly tourist trap, it still shocked me upon arrival to the pub that kids were running around inside. I’m sure the folks from

    Europe

    have their internal clocks way off, so the fact that it was 10 at night didn’t bother me too much.

    Axl_udpated I was sitting in the back with all of my friends talking about what song we were going to sing next when I saw the monitor in front of me state some guy and gal were about to sing “Welcome to the Jungle” by Guns N’ Roses. My inner hair-rawker got excited and turned around to face the stage.

    And that was when I saw who was going to sing this song about living on the streets in a strange city. It was no guy or gal but a little boy and little girl about the ages of 9 and 6 if I had to guess. Excessive drinking has wiped their names clean from my memory bank, so let’s call them Hansel and Gretel.


    “I don’t think this is what Axl Rose had in mind when he wrote this,” said one of my friends. But you couldn’t help but watch. And where the hell the parents were was anyone’s guess. Whether young Hansel was really trying to channel Axl’s rage with his up and down movements or was trying to get himself high enough to reach the top of the mic stand is anybody’s guess.

    But the best was when Hansel bellowed out the lyrics like a young Peter Brady, “YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE…?” In which I cut him off and said, “In a bar, with a lot of drunk adults singing Guns N’ Roses children.”

    Just when you think you have seen everything, there’s always something that slips in the back door.

    Will's returns -- for real

    Will's Pub is coming back to not only Orlando, but Mills Avenue. Here's an excerpt from my column that is running in the Orlando Sentinel this Friday about it:

    "I may not have come back with a dime from Vegas last week, but I felt like I hit the jackpot when I got home that night and found out Will Walker has found a new space for Will’s Pub. Better news is it’s on Mills Avenue in Orlando, not far from where the old place once stood, but closer to the Wally’s, Uncle Lou’s, Paradise and Peacock Room end of the action.

    According to Walker, the space is roughly the same size as the old pub with three rooms instead of two. You should see the opening of the bar at 1040 N. Mills Ave. in the next month or two."

    Monday night DJ duel

    Jessemetcalfe Funny thing is this Monday we have some famous DJs playing in Orlando, however, they're not really famous for the DJing.

    The first one I told you about last week, the absurdity that is Tommy Lee DJing at Blue Martini on Monday night should be a show stopper. But the hottie that is turning up at Bliss Lounge that same night should also draw a big crowd. Jesse Metcalfe of "Desperate Housewives" and "John Tucker Must Die" fame will be hosting "Pure Bliss" at the club in downtown Orlando from 10 p.m. - 2 a.m.

    Decisions, decisions... I guess I'll just have to split my time between the two boys.

    So I'm hearing not so nice things about Dolce in downtown Orlando from you folks. Everything from it looks the same with new paint to the nurse shark and tropical fish need a bigger tank and clean water to Fred Khalilian will be out of business in about three months. I haven't been by, that's the plan for this weekend so I haven't formed an opinion yet. But you'll definitely hear my weigh-in on Monday.

    To be or not to be?

    I don't know what to believe anymore when it comes to Fred Khalilian's press releases. That would be the former owner of Club Paris, and the soon to be Dolce Nightclub.

    First he was going to have a show on the air to find the new face of Club Paris after they split their partnership, that show never happened. Then Club Paris was going to close but that didn't happen until a month after the announcement. Then he was going to open a new nightclub in the space on Central Boulevard in downtown Orlando that used to be Cairo. Not so much on that one either, because the name of that club that would have been on Central (according to a press release) was supposed to be Dolce and now according to another press release from Khalilian he's opening Dolce Nightclub where Club Paris used to stand at 122 W. Church St. in downtown Orlando.

    In fact, the grand opening is this weekend. I'll be out of town, so I won't know if what is essentially a repainted Club Paris will actually open this weekend. I've learned not to trust those press releases, but one thing I feel certain about is that Paris Hilton won't be attending. In other words, don't expect too much of a difference between Dolce and Club Paris.

    Cereal Sundays returns

    Grab your slippers and pillows kids because Peacock Room in Orlando will be starting up its popular Cereal Sundays this weekend. Imagine cozying up in your pajamas watching cartoons or sci-fi with a cereal selection and full bar at your disposal. It really is magical. I'll be out of town so you guys need to make it out there for me so they don't get rid of it again, the bar opens at 11 a.m. This seriously is good times.

    Oh, did I mention it's free? See you at the next one.

    No hero here

    Makersmark I was at a Maker's Mark Ambassador function with John, our Cheap Eats, Bar Bites man about town a couple of nights ago. He digs the stuff, personally, I don't think I had tried it before. There were a lot of cigar smoking, yup yups walking around but the head of the whole kit and kaboodle, Bill Samuels Jr. was a pretty down to earth sort who seemed to be sneaking some swigs from his own product. He was a funny guy who signed my hand-dipped red waxed glass that they gave away at the function for free. Would have liked to have seen the Maker's Mark drinks for free along with some food but you can't win them all. Supposedly they had a 60-second buffet before we showed up, so being fashionably late didn't really do much for me that evening.

    As for the Maker's Mark? It's bourbon, all I know is at the end of my "Old Fashioned" there was an orange seed I swallowed by accident that would have displayed the product in my belly to the ambassadors in a whole new light. But I'm a professional, I took control of the situation.

    And after one $9 drink that John spotted for me and the group that was with us, I took off to the Guitar Hero Challenge at Peacock Room. Yeah, I was on a mission that night. I still suck at Guitar Hero, but what sucked even more was the sad turnout for the event. I've seen you people with this game, and it's a level of sad dedication I feel Sally Struthers should be doing infomercials about.

    So where were you that night? There were maybe six or seven of us back there, and a case of PBR for the winner, but the competition never really took off. It was just people playing, there wasn't really enough people for a competition.

    Korn0_2  But you can redeem yourself, not only is Peacock hosting this event every other Wednesday, but tonight there is a big Guitar Hero competition at The Lodge. The Family Values Guitar Hero Competition takes place from 10 p.m. - midnight tonight and whoever is named the victor gets a chance to hang out with Korn backstage on Sunday's Family Value Tour at the TD Waterhouse Centre and play Guitar Hero head to head against Jonathan Davis himself. Not a bad prize, now maybe some of your lazy asses will drop the video game, get off the couch and head out to the Lodge tonight to pick up the video game again.

    More Irish pub news

    So, I just got word that the Harp & Celt will be opening its doors Monday in downtown Orlando. This is the Irish pub/seafood restaurant that took the space Scruffy Murphy's originally claimed to be moving into after its original downtown location closed.

    Here's what I found on their Web site:

    "The Crawfish Company Of Central Florida, Inc. and the Cottage Irish Pubs, Inc. have teamed up to form the new corporation: “Cajun Paddy, Inc." owned and operated by Kathy and James Mulvaney and Lisa and Rick Boyd.

    The Cajun Paddy, Inc. will be mixing American and Irish heritage in a new and stimulating package opening the “Harp & Celt Restaurant and Irish Pub”, set for opening early August 2007 in the Historic District of downtown Orlando located at 25 South Magnolia Street. The Celt Irish Pub will open it's doors for the first time on Monday, August 13, 2007 at 11:00 AM. The Harp Restaurant will open it's doors for the first time on Friday, August 17 for dinner at 5:30 PM.

    The Harp will be an upscale fine dining restaurant serving award winning dishes for the lunch and dinner crowd. Cody Patterson, our Le Cordon Bleu Chef is a graduate of the Orlando Culinary Institute, bringing some of the finest recipes and culinary delights to the palates of Central Florida. Fresh Fish from the Florida and the Louisiana coasts teamed up with our Angus Beef steaks will be the core ingredient of downtown Orlando’s newest and only dedicated seafood restaurant.

    The Celt, next door to the Harp, will be a traditional Irish Pub serving traditional Irish beers and imports. The beer selection will be large, satisfying the tastes and whims of any beer fanatic. Included will be a full liquor bar and the finest wines available. Serving lunch and dinner will be an extensive menu of award winning Irish foods. Come and enjoy traditional and modern Irish music with music seisiun's being organized on a monthly basis."

    I'll check it out next week and let you know what I think.

    Scruffy Murphy's is back

    I have great news for those of you who were regulars at the old Scruffy Murphy's in downtown Orlando: it's back. Not in downtown Orlando though, the new location is in College Park at 2625 Edgewater Drive that formerly housed Gio's and Adair's before that. My friend Rick was walking by with his wife when he noticed a sign in the door window. He asked the carpenter working some questions but the carpenter was rather hush hush. He had a dog named Beamish which is a pretty freaking cool name though. I called the Georgia location and the bartender confirmed that Scruffy's was reopening in Orlando. I don't know about a date or time yet, but as soon as I do I'll let you know.

    Sloth

    I had a ex-boyfriend call me that once, a special guy that one was. But I'm not here to take a trip down memory lane with you today, I'm here to tell you about one hell of a tasty martini I had the pleasure of imbibing last night at Tryst Martini Bar called "Sloth." Tryst was formerly Ybor's Martini Bar in downtown Orlando, and the martinis are still on the mark even if the bar is different. A mixture of Absolut Vanilla, amaretto, cream, chocolate syrup and grenadine had me wanting more, though the $8 happy hour price had my wallet saying enough already!

    It was yummy!

    On a lighter note

    Whoo hoo, Club Paris has closed its doors for good!

    On a once again sad note, the space off of Church Street will be opening again on Aug. 31 as Dolce Nightclub. Curious on how this reincarnation fares...

    Sun sets on Southern Nights

    Even though, I haven't been to the club regularly in years, I felt a pang of sadness when I heard Southern Nights off of Bumby Avenue in Orlando closed it doors for good this past Wednesday night. Supposedly due to unpaid back taxes the club just couldn't catch up. Even with some successful nights taking place at the club. In fact, recently The Rendezvous Lounge was hosting local music acts, which means another local music venue lost along with a legendary club.

    A few years back, Southern's cheap drinks and drag shows kept my group of friends and me returning every weekend. The majority of us are straight, but we always felt welcome once inside the gay and lesbian club. It's a shame Orlando (especially the gay/lesbian/bi communities) has lost another much loved establishment, Southern will be missed.

    Bags!

    Bags_2  Okay, so I might be stepping at bit on the Control Freak's toes here, but the subject of this today's blog was located at a bar so I'm going to absolve myself of any guilt for that reason.

    From the makers of Golden Tee and Silver Strike Bowling comes.... BAGS!

    Wait, Bags? Yes, Bags folks, like the red-headed stepchild of the Golden and Silver ones, this game is basically about throwing bean bags at a box with a hole in it. You get the bag in you win like a 1000 points or something.

    Casey spotted this gem at Debbie's Bar last weekend and seriously thought this was one of their test models for when Target Toss Pro started making games, the cheap model you can get at a steal.

    Turns out not so much, this is their newest game that came out last month. The idea is ridiculous, however, we still played it. Not a ton of skill needed, throwing the bag despite wind speed changes was about it and how I mastered that was really due to a lot of random guessing. Bags doesn't offer a lot of direction, but it was a way to kill a couple of bucks and save Casey and I from actually talking to each other, God forbid!

    Will I play it again? Damn skippy. It was kind of fun and it doesn't take much to entertain this one as long as there is a beer in my hand.

    A junkbox that's not so junky

    So our resident karaoke king Tod Caviness and his ladyfriend Nikki were out on the town the other night. Well, maybe "out on the town" is a bit over the top. Actually it's a lot over the top. They were grabbing a beer at Kiwi's off of 436 in Altamonte Springs. And although we're talking strip mall bar hopping here, Tod and Nikki were still surprised on how empty the bar was on a Saturday night.

    Especially after the discovery Tod made at Kiwi's and shared with the group a couple of days later. Turns out Kiwi's has a digital jukebox that actually has all of the songs to choose from each album it displays!

    Now, for those of you lost, there has been a trend for bars in town to be getting rid of their beautiful old jukeboxes and replacing them with those touchscreen types or as Casey calls them "junkboxes." The largest offender of this is Copper Rocket Pub that had one of the best jukeboxes in town.

    But the big problem with all of this is just because the junkbox has an album on it, you never get all the songs on that album, only select ones. I don't know if the bar has to pay per song or what, but it's bullshit at the end of the day. That is until Kiwi's decided to give the customer what they want, all the damn songs on an album to choose from.

    What a concept: Keep the customer happy. Is it really that hard if your depending on a machine to do it? At least there's one place in town that gets it.

    Get a drink named after you!

    Peacock Room on Mills Avenue in Orlando will be giving one mack daddy of a prize to the millionth customer that walks through its entrance door this month: a drink named after the customer. According to Peacock's owner Dave Rich, not only will the person get a drink named after them, they'll also have their picture placed on the "award" wall and a nice little bar tab to boot.

    They're basing the number on average drink price and annual sales to this point. Since they're still working on this, a specific date has not been announced yet for you to walk in and out of their door until they scream, "You won!!!!" When I find out I'll post it immediately.

    My two cents on Bliss

    So I'm not pushing this column too hard this week on CityBeat, just because you would be blitzed with Bliss knowledge between Paul's "Inside" piece this week and my column. But I thought if you were interested I would give you a little linky dink to check it out. Paul and I both went the same night (why he's mentioned), so you'll find we're pretty much of the same opinion for the most part.

    http://orlandocitybeat.metromix.com/bars-and-clubs/orlent-kelly2007jul20,0,1374172.column?coll=orlnatent-bars-headlines

    Have a great weekend guys!

    Drunken Monkey

    Drunkenmonkey You have to love the name: Drunken Monkey Coffee Bar. My friend John made me aware of the place this past weekend, when he drove down Bumby in Orlando and saw Conway's BBQ has gone the way of the wind and there was a sign in the window stating as much. Not to say I was completely surprised, everytime you drove by Conway's you'd be lucky if you caught a cat in their dumpster. I went in once, because I felt bad they had no business at the Bumby location. And the food was pretty decent.

    As far as the tanked ape's new joint, it opens in September and this is what its Web site has to say:

    "Drunken Monkey Coffee Bar was conceived to fill the need for excellent coffee and healthy foods in Orlando.  We offer...

    • Freshly roasted espresso/coffee/coffee beans daily.
    • Homemade gourmet soups drummed up fresh in our kitchen by Soupcon owner John.
    • Yummy muffins, cookies, and pastry items made from scratch.
    • Lots of veggie, vegan and organic choices.
    • Xylitol-based goodies (sugarfree but good for you! seriously check out xylitol).
    • Open mike entertainment.
    • Convenient drive thru expresso-based fixes."

    I love the line: "Drunken Monkey Coffee Bar was conceived to fill the need for excellent coffee and healthy foods in Orlando." I wonder what the folks at Dandelion Communitea have to say about that, although their focus is tea and not coffee. I would love to see them play it out like the Jets and the Sharks and end up having a tree hugoff.

    It could also be the same owners forcing a hippie monopoly. How's that for an oxymoron? Either way, I'm looking into it. No mention of alcohol on the site... hmmm. There better be some damn booze if you got a liquored up monkey as your mascot.

    One thing is for sure, the new coffee bar will be yet another destination for many of the spoken word, crunchy, vegan, drum circle-types in this town. In otherwords, this business model will get a crowd no doubt.

    Drunken karaoke
    I went out to Paddy McGee's the other night, Wednesday to be exact, for the bar's karaoke event. I would had written about it yesterday, however I was in training to learn Excel. Yes, somehow I've gotten away with not being completely familiar with Excel for 10 years now. But then I got caught and was told I needed to learn. But you don't care about any of this, back to Wednesday night.

    For those of you not familiar, Paddy McGee's is where Friend's Lounge (P.J.'s Lounge before that) used to sit in Winter Park. It's right off of Aloma. When I was In college, the bar's strong drinks and cheap prices kept my friends and me coming back to the dive.

    It's not so divey anymore, but the one mainstay is the karaoke, Friend's/P.J.s used to have karaoke daily, I once sang "Endless Love" with my friend Ryan, he did the Diana Ross part and I did Lionel Richie, it was classic.

    Paddy's now offers karaoke one night a week, on Wednesdays. But seriously, I'm no connoisseur of karaoke but I know a good time, and this karaoke night not only had a kick-ass host, but Guitar Hero as well, and in my book that's a good time.

    Or the two Jack Daniel's shots I slid down my throat.

    My friend Trevor is moving to New Zealand, so the sacrifice of our pride was our gift to him in the form of a send-off party on a karaoke night. He and his wife brought a honey-baked spiral ham for all of us to pick off as a thank you. Or they didn't have dinner earlier, I didn't really ask.

    Anywho, back to the karaoke. The host was a riot, his name is Tommy and he's not over the top like many are, just genuinely funny. He also didn't hog the mike like many of them do. In fact he didn't sing one note the whole evening. Or play Guitar Hero. It was really about the patrons. To pace the night he played '70s and '80s music so some of us could dance between acts (remember those Jack Daniel's shots I mentioned earlier?)

    A group of people at the table across from us even table danced, but that was to "Sweet Child O' Mine" on the Guitar Hero and not "Shake Your Groove Thing" from the CD player. None the less, it was amusing. Although, when my boyfriend busted out with "The Ballad of Chasey Lain" on stage they looked like someone shot their puppy.

    Okay, so the question is did I sing? Hell no. Not that I never do, I was just enjoying watching other people make jack asses out of themselves that evening. What did everyone else sing? Well you'll have to wait to find that out next week when we post the new Amateur Hour.

    Tickled

    Sentinel movie critic Roger Moore and I were just having an email exchange about Tatame in Winter Park. Basically he was asking if I had heard of it, and I let him know that I had. It was the line at the end of the exchange from Roger that really got me in the gut:

    "I should've known. A liquor truck doesn't have a flat tire in this town that you don't know about."

    Aw, shucks Roger, you shouldn't have!

    *blushing*

    'Beer Bomb' alert!

    Totally forgot to mention this earlier, the 'Beer Bomb' man himself, Mike Smith, has a bus tour going this Sunday. This is seriously something that can not be missed. I've gone on his bike tours and beer dinners before and not only are you getting sloshed, but you're learning something in the process. And meeting great new people.

    This month's bus tour costs $45 and that includes the first stop at Redlight Redlight, where everyone meets, and addtional stops at Maggies Attic in Mt. Dora, The Abbey in DeLand, Tir Na Nog in Daytona and Sanford Wine Company. Between stops sample Shipyard beers on the bus and your $45 pays for the bus ride, first featured beer and food at each stop as well as those Shipyards you'll be downing on the bus. It's again, this Sunday, from 1 - 6 p.m. Trust me, you'll have a blast. Tickets are on sale at Redlight Redlight, talk to Brent.

    Nowhere to hide

    Why this suddenly popped into my head, I have no idea. But I was just thinking what a shame it is that Eye Spy's once wonderful secret nooks and crannies are exposed and look like storage areas. I know it's been like this for a while, and I understand the fire department had some issues. But maybe they should change the name? There are not a lot of secrets to the joint anymore. And one bartender in the back bar was an ass to a friend of mine there two weeks ago. Yeah, that really had nothing to do with my original point.

    Man, I miss Barbarella.

    What's the deal?

    Since I love you all (and I really do), I've decided to start the blog off today on a good note. Tonight head over to Phat-n-Jazzy at The Social for their new special that will knock your liver out of downtown Orlando. For $5 at the door you not only get in and listen to some cool music, but you drink free wells, imports and domestic drafts until midnight.

    The last time I attended this night they didn't have this deal and it was a ghost town inside, I was one of maybe 10 people the whole time I was there. Please fix this folks, this is a long-running night at a great venue with killer drink specials. You're just plain dumb if you don't go.

    Now for the bad note. Living in Thornton Park I'm well aware of the pretension that surrounds me (it's kinda hard to miss). But how I love the area so, I could just do without some of the people. Once upon a time a restaurant named HUE opened to cater to, what seemed to me, those people specifically. I went only once for brunch (and it was good, I will say) but for the most part avoided the yuppiness. Some time later, a new restaurant opened called Shari, right next door. But they had a happy hour that everyone could appreciate, $3 select sushi rolls and $4 saketinis (a martini with sake instead of gin). I saw a mixture of types in the crowd the three or four times I went and didn't feel out of place in the slightest, and yet, I was still on that corner in Thornton Park.

    Well those days are long gone, the recent expansion of Shari, seems to have brought on an expansion of ego by the restaurant as well. Friday night, my best friend Kristin comes to visit. Kristin is all about style, so this hanging with the beautiful people sort of crap amuses her to no end. But she's also frugal with her money so I decided the perfect choice for our Friday evening out would be Shari. My fiance Casey came along as well. We were dressed business casual I would say, I even wore my Coach bag for crying out loud. But yet, we stood and waited for a table to "open up" in the hot sun with two other couples. In the meantime, other people (who clearly recognized the five hostesses standing out front, do we really need five?) were brought right in.

    Once the other two couples were brought in they quickly exited. I imagine they tried to hide them in a corner from the pretty people, even though in my book, they looked a lot more normal than half the plastic in the joint. That said, we were asked if we would sit at the sushi bar. Fine, we say. Again forgotten. But two girls come up and are seated instantly. That was our cue to go, believe it or not, over to HUE.

    Maybe the folks had reservations, but none of that was discussed with people at the door. They just walked right in while we were sent off to the side. A friend of mine, who loves the place, said her recent experience there was poor as well. Surprisingly, HUE was quite comfortable, there was a mix of people on the front porch, it was as if the two restaurants switched crowds. Service was friendly, although the bill was not. Four cosmos, two glasses of wine, three salads and two soups later had us looking at a bill over $100.

    I guess some things never change.

    Free food, free beer, free cupcakes!

    It's true, you can have free food, free beer and free cupcakes at Redlight Redlight tonight all for $5 at the door. What are the freebies for? Who cares, it's free!

    But if you must know, this wonderful bar in Winter Park is celebrating its two-year anniversary tonight. And not only will you be stuffing your hole with free goodies and beer, some bands will actually take time out from their own eating to entertain you as well including John Ralston, Summer Blankets and The Dark Romantics. Party starts at 7 p.m.

    Yeah, I'm a genius!

    So thank you to those of you alerting me to the photo issue in yesterday's blog. It's fixed now and since the people who guessed correctly, or let me know what a dumbass I am, are all ineligible, the contest is still on.

    I'm telling you it's this past weekend that has made my mind into this luke warm lump of mush that it is. Although, in my FMF travels in downtown Orlando, I did get a chance to swing by Suite B, and enjoy the space as an intimate music venue and I have to say I like it a lot. It's no Bodhisattva reincarnate, anyone that has been by Suite B knows it carries a way different vibe. However, I did dig it as a music venue and I think they should embrace that facet of the club a bit more.

    Speaking of live music, tonight The Dark Romantics and Band Marino, will be playing at The Social with national act Lovedrug. I just discovered The Dark Romantics this past weekend at the festival and I enjoyed what I heard and saw, and Band Marino is Band Marino, enough said. Just for those two acts alone it's worth the $10 cover.

    Anyone needing an accordionist can contact Jimmy Bubaloni.

    Knocked up

    No, not me! I wouldn't do that to you!

    But if you can be the first one to guess who the celebrity is in this photo taken at Dragon Room and sent to us by Christina Martin, then I'll give you two passes to the screener of the movie "Knocked Up" playing next Thursday:

    C2  

    Well, that's about it for today. I'm still recovering from Florida Music Festival and Bull & Bush's birthday, which was all a blast. My body just hates me now.

    Casting call

    If you’re a beauty or a geek, head down to Blue Martini on Saturday from 10 a.m. – 4 p.m. for the casting call that bears such a name. “Beauty and The Geek” is holding an open casting call for its fourth season. You just need to be 18 and older to audition. Blue Martini is at 4200 Conroy Road in Orlando, call 407-447-2583. 

    Lime biter!

    Here's the column for this week on Cinco de Mayo parties. I'll also add additional parties that I get info on that didn't make it to print this week in this blog. Here's one now:

    <>
    Creepy Pinata Party at Copper Rocket Pub

    Copper Rocket has an alternative to reggaeton and Coronas. Take a swing at the jacked-up pinatas filled with "interesting goodies," watch some sassy go-go girls and hear blood-curdling metal by Apocalypse A Go-Go and Vascular Symphony.

    When: 9 p.m.

    Price: $5

       
       

    Drop everything

    "Corey Feldman has just finshed filming a movie called "Terror Inside" here in the Orlando area and he is throwing a cast and crew party at Mako's on Church Street tonight. There will be a number of celebs partaking in the festivities."

    If anyone dare to attend, please, please, tell me how it is! Send pics to me if you can, I can't wait to hear what "celebs" attended. 

    Paint with a purpose

    Before I get to the point of this blog, I wanted to quickly tell everyone sorry if your comments haven't been posting for the last couple of months. There was a bug I was just made aware of yesterday and it has been fixed. So comment away!

    Now the following isn't really about drinking, bars, clubs, nightlife-related or me-related for that matter (as odd as that is). And although, you won't see a lot of sappy in this blog, it's from a guy who really gives a damn about this city about a woman who could really use some of you to give a damn about her and her daughter.

    From Frankie from Apartment E:

    I am putting out a general call to artists to help out a friend in need.

    This is a simple way that I (we) can do a great thing with our talents.

    I am asking anyone to do an art piece of LINDA'S WINTER PARK DINER (FAIRBANKS BLVD., near the intersection of clay and fairbanks.) for me. Get creative with it..

    oil, watercolor, pencil, charcoal, photography, abstract, sculpture.....whatever.... size don't matter, around 8x10 to 11x 17 would be ideal..

    I need like 10 more pieces.. about 10 artists have already responded.... The Diner closes around 4 pm everyday if you want to go photograph or paint live on the spot..

    If not please create something from the photos I have here.... BELOW...(IF THEY DON'T OPEN, I will send them again...

    I am going to hang these at the Diner itself (if it needs framing I will do that for you..), and let all the patrons "SILENT BID" on the pieces, to raise money for one of the waitresses that has some major bills due to your daughter's illness. Out of the blue, they discovered not one but 5 types of cancer in her 15 year old.. Sad news.. and I just can't stand by and do nothing when i can make a difference somewhere...

    So I am sending this plea out to all my APARTMENT E contacts... We are a good bunch really, and I am in gratitude to you all for being a friend or associate of WWW.APARTMENTE.COM.

    Not Will's Part Deux, but it will do -- for now

    I can't stop yawning and it's pissing me off. My coworker Tanya is out with the flu today, so it was one of those mornings when they ask you to come in on time and they actually mean it.

    I perked up a bit to see an email from Will Walker in my inbox about some shows he's scheduled at Taste (Tah-stay) in College Park this month. A chi-chi kinda joint that doesn't allow smoking it is guilty of, however, they let him build a stage and bring in his old PA and lights from the former pub so they get a cookie for that. And the acts are very promising to start out with:

    Sat April 28th
    10pm 21&up
    "Tracy Taste Birthday Bash"
    Troubled Children
    s.o.u.p.
    Sid Zed with Lena and Johnny Wells

    Fri May 4th
    10pm 21&up $5
    TERRI BINION and the Bible Belt Orphans
    Preacher Bill and the Prophets
    and Guests.

    Fri May 11th
    10pm 21&up $10
    The Legendary J.C's
    w Guests

    Fri May 18th
    10pm 21&up $5
    Cure For Caska
    and Guests

    Sat May 26th
    10pm 21&up $7
    Milka w Guests

    While he searches for his next place, this could be a nice waiting room for all of us to sip our beers and support local music in the meantime.

    Christ, there's a bunny in here!

    Bunnybeer_2 Being the bandwagon catholic I am (out of guilt mind you), I tried to give up Coca-Cola for Lent this year. Ten out of forty days ain't bad, right? One year I actually tried giving up beer, but of course upped my intake of liquor and cider which brought on the worst hangovers I had ever experienced. Of course, God was punishing me.

    So, the most I'm looking forward to on Sunday is the dinner, since my reunion with Coca-Cola won't be as sweet as the candy my nieces and nephew will be shoving down there necks. Of course, that's what Easter has come to, I mean, look at Universal Studio's Mardi Gras, they celebrate "Mardi Gras" the duration of Lent, obviously not aware (or not giving a crap) about the meaning of the event in the first place.

    Who can blame them? I say any reason for a party, right? Even to celebrate the easter bunny rising out of his basket on the third day to dye eggs... or whatever...

    Here are some other places bringing the party back into this wake of a holiday. 

    God bless us everyone.

    Finally, someone gets it!

    The folks at Redlight Redlight in Winter Park are my heroes.

    Why? Because the bar recognizes Yuengling is a domestic beer and charges as such.

    How much?

    $2!!!!!!!!!

    Happy Birthday Wanzie

    Wanzie I received some e-mails this morning urging me to spread the word it's Michael Wanzie's birthday today and there will be a celebration tonight at Parliament House in honor. How could I not? If there is one thing Wanzie knows how to do is throw a party. Will there be a Marilyn on the stage of the Footlight Theatre to sing Happy Birthday ala Jack Kennedy-style? I'm not sure about that, but there will be bingo, which is why I had to pull this "Queen of Bingo" file photo out to share with all.

    Here's a video created by Doug Fish that will give you a little more, ahem, history about this momentous day and information on tonight's festivities:

    Download 1957.wmv

    Burton's update

    Burtonsbig For those of you not up to speed, or asking to see this again, Burton’s (located in Thornton Park) "For Sale" sign and the idea it could be bulldozed had me on the pulpit a few weeks back:

    From Feb. 2, 2008 column:

    "Historic bar should stay that way

    Speaking of football, this past season, my friends and I spent a lot of time in our neighborhood bar catching the game. Living in Thornton Park, it's hard to find a down-to-earth, cheap (especially cheap) spot to grab a beer and talk with friends.

    With the addition of plasma TVs and an expanded beer selection, Burton's in Thornton Park was the ideal place to hang out many a night. New owners and their new management made it appear as if the bar had a very promising future. Finally, someone in this town was embracing history instead of bulldozing it -- with 81 years under its belt, this bar has plenty of backstory.

    But then rumors started swirling about the bar being sold or closing. And with the revolving door of a staff, and beer running out and not being fully stocked, it made me wonder.

    It turns out the bar (as well as the rest of the properties on the half-block at East Washington Street and Hill Avenue) is for sale. The bar is going forward with business as usual unless someone buys the place. What I hope is that, regardless of whether it's the current owner, Robert Bonnewell, or a new owner, they keep Burton's Burton's. Hang some old pictures of what it looked like back in the day. Embrace its history, and the locals will, too. Do it right, and in no time it will be a popular attraction for locals.

    For a town with residents who like to complain that we have no sense of history, it's important we protect what little we do have."

    It was enlightening when one reader responded with the idea of a co-op mission for the property.

    From Feb. 9, 2008 column:

    "It takes a bar-going village

    I really wasn't expecting anything after last week's rant about Thornton Park's Burton's. Not to say I don't expect anything from you, but really, the purpose was to get something off my chest and make you guys think a bit.

    Imagine my surprise when I opened my e-mail Monday morning to find a message from Vincent Petrine with the subject line: Wanna Buy Burton's?

    Petrine's idea: If everyone in town threw in at least $10, they could make Burton's a co-op owned by the people of Orlando and preserve the bar. Petrine is willing to put his money where his mouth is and offered $1,000 toward the cause. He's hoping people will spread the word and hopefully do ‘whatever you can afford to keep Burton's Burton's.’

    Right on, Vincent! Finally, someone who's willing to stand up, do something and try to keep what little history we have in this town. I wish you luck, my friend, and for anyone who would like to get in on Petrine's idea, e-mail or call me and I'll get you in touch with him."

    Scratch that whole contacting Petrine though, he’s an idea guy but no ringleader he claims so just contact me if you want to help Burton’s and I guess I can wear that hat. Along with Petrine there are others that have stepped up to the plate, willing to put their money where their mouth is, including JK, Rupert, Justin Robinson, Scott and Mary Ann Ferris-Hepenstal.

    I recently heard a rumor from a pretty credible source that owner Robert Bonnewell might take the bar off the market. I’ll believe that when I see the sign come down, in the meantime keep the ideas coming, it’s nice to see this community finally give a shit about the history of the town they live in – even if it’s just a bar.

    Paris Hilton fired from clubs, but name will remain

    Paris_300 Who would have thunk it? Club Paris owner Fred Khalilian has reportedly fired Paris Hilton from the two nightclubs that bear her name, one here in good ol' Orlando and the other in Jacksonville.

    Why you ask? Because she has better sense than to go to them, or at least show up when she's supposed to. How this is shocking I have no clue, when she was six hours late to the grand opening of the club in Orlando, that should had been a red flag, don't ya think? So what do they plan on doing with the name? Oh they're keeping it, according to this link on Yahoo, Khalilian says it now refers to the city in France, not the heiress. I would like to see someone shell out $10,000 next New Year's Eve to share a balcony with Khalilian in a club named after a city it would cost a fraction of that to vacation in. But you'll hear more on that in my column next week after I get a chance to talk to Khalilian myself.

    But, for all of you naysayers two years ago that said the club wouldn't last six months, I would like to say, I was right when I said it would last at least a year. But now, I'm officially starting the clock on this death watch.

    Raise your glass to Ybor's

    There are rumors that the original downtown Orlando martini bar, Ybor's, has closed. And it turns out those rumors are true. In fact, it closed almost three months ago. But no one really knew for sure because the construction of 55 West has deterred many from visiting the once popular martini bar. That's right, a high-rise killed a martini bar in this town. I love the irony considering it's those same condos and high-rises that have forced us to endure less-classy and thrown-together lounges and martini bars around this town. You guys are convinced that I don't like martini bars. But I do, when done right, and Ybor's did it right. It will be missed.

    Natura update

    Got an update on what's happening with Natura folks, it's running in my column on Friday but since you are all valuable readers of this here blog, thought I would reward you with a sneak peek:

    "...the Say Anything Slam is looking for a new home since Natura Café at DMAC shut its doors last weekend.

    If you’re worried about the Natura Café down by UCF, it’s still running strong. According to Brandon Haydon, manager of the downtown location, the owner of the historic Rogers Building that housed DMAC and the cafe closed their shop because of renovations he’s doing on the building. The café will be moving to its new location in the downtown Expo Center on Livingston Street — an interesting choice — sometime next week, although he’s not sure if the hookahs still will be allowed.

    As far as the Say Anything Slam, if you have any ideas on where it can move, let me know and I’ll definitely send them along to slam mistress Dani O."

    So the downtown location did find a new home, however, not quite sure how that will work and what kind of crowd it will attract. More business- and convention- types I'm sure, I guess that remains to be seen.

    Toast bad news with a martini

    Looks like the demise of DMAC didn't help the downtown location of Natura and they closed their doors yesterday. I was really rooting for that place, which is very popular at its UCF location, but didn't quite pick up that momentum downtown. It will be missed and sadder yet, the closing will be displacing another open mike night around town. Dani O, hostess of the Say Anything Slam, that moved not too long ago from Austin's in Winter Park because of closing rumors, is looking for a new home... AGAIN... Any good words for Miss O. on where she should go, just let me know.

    That rhyme was cheesy and totally done on purpose, a slam poet I am not. But now that I have you guys all down in the dumps, here's some good news. Mark on your calendars this Thursday as the date you need to be on Church Street in downtown Orlando for Martinifest 2006. Normally a part of the Wall Street landscape, I guess a rumfest and a martinifest in one week might be a bit too much. This is one of, if not, the best sampling festivals this town has to offer, plenty to choose from and the lines aren't as bad as most liquorfests. Tickets to Martinifest 2006 are $25 prior to the event and $30 at the door and will take place from 6 - 9 p.m.

    TONIGHT!!!

    For those of us who remember it well, and others who arrived too late:

    Screamersflyer_300

    Come on, shake your body baby, do the conga OR Pass the salsa

    Kitchensink_1 Metrowest Sports Bar and Mexican Grill on Kirkman should win the "Everything But The Kitchen Sink" award this week. I mean, if they just had Karaoke somewhere in that title it would have totally sealed the deal. I went on a Bar Bites binge with CityBeat's Bar Bites' writer John Graham to the bar that wants to be everything to everyone last night. I will say though, burritos and beer is a nice break from the normal wings dealy at most sports bars.

    But that is not why I post today. John can tell you more about the food and drink later. The reason why I write is because the place is not only a sports bar, a mexican joint and grill, but they also offer salsa lessons every Monday, Tuesday and Thursday from 6 – 8 p.m.

    Congaline_120_1 Tanya, the senior señorita here at CityBeat wanted to jump up and shake her hips with the rest of the crowd (and by crowd I mean roughly 6 – 8 people) taking the lessons in the front of the room. She tried to get me to jump on that bandwagon, in which I gulped down my beer and yelled "What wagon?" Before hightailing it out the front door, Tanya clarified she didn’t want me to "get on the wagon" she just wanted me to dance because she wanted to. Screw that, I had a beer to drink. John asked if we thought skinnier or heavier women were better at dancing salsa.

    Huh?

    Anyway I’ve diverted from my original point. Besides offering everything else, if you’re looking to take salsa lessons, Metrowest Sports Bar and Mexican Grill offers $10 dance lessons as well. Adios!

    Yeah, I'm back....

    Sorry to leave you all alone for so long, but i had some mourning that needed to be done. I'm at a certain step in the process (not quite sure which one due to the amount of drinking I've been doing to bury the grief) to start moving on with normal life and lead my flock to wetter pastures.

    Actually, I have some news to note for everone, new bars and such opening around town to keep an eye out for and in my column. First off, haven't been to Beacon Lounge yet, it opened in Thornton Park last Friday and the whole Thornton Park Nightlife campaign they have going for it sounds as pretentious as I'm expecting the club to be. But i haven't been yet so tell me for those of you who have -- what's the consensus??

    Oakenfold_120 Looks like Paul Oakenfold will be performing the opening night of the new Destiny Nightclub on Oct. 13. I didn't hear a lot of rave (sorry, that was bad) reviews on the album and I've never been a fan of that brand of thump thump myself, but i know you cats that dig him are thrilled so I thought i would share. And it is a new club so you'll probably see me at the bar.

    Rumor has it you'll be seeing a new irish bar downtown in the near future from some familiar faces. No, it's not the Scruffy's folks, I would have better luck getting honest news from our government than those guys. Just wait and see, I'll have an update real soon.

    Last but not least, not to get back on the Will's angle because I am trying to work through this still, but for those of you waiting for the wrecking ball to level your grief away, keep waiting. Word is the clinic next door that bought the property wanted to convert the bar into a cafe. Oh, yes, you heard me they actually wanted to PREPARE AND SERVE FOOD THERE!! Plus deal with us nuts, hanging in the parking lots whistling at them like some gang out of The Warriors... If it's true, what are they thinking?

    A bunch of losers

    Drinkup_200 Yeah, that would be you. The disappointment I felt today when I clicked on the link below was monumental. You all suck! You can do better than this! What kind of coach does this make me look like?? DO YOU EVEN CARE??? No, you don't!! Results like these show me how much you supposedly care. I feel like giving up.

    But we did beat New York, so maybe there might be hope for next year. http://www.forbes.com/home/entrepreneurs/2006/08/22/nightlife-cities-drunk_cx_de_nightlife06_0822intro.html

    Reason #852 for why I drink

    And if you don't, you really should start:

    http://www.wsmv.com/health/9681978/detail.html

    Win a $500 gift certificate OR I would really love a burger right now

    I swear O-Rock does not have me in their pocket book, but this looked pretty interesting and I thought I would share with the class:

    http://www.orock1059.com/contests/contest11.shtml

    Liver level raised to code Orange OR Save Will’s Pub!

    Breakin2_1 I know it’s not possible, at least to save the bar at its present location. Like I heard Drew Garabo say on the radio this morning in reference to the bar’s impending demise, "This ain’t 'Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo'."

    But you can still hope. Very much like when you first heard there was no Santa Claus but there was still that last strand of hope come the following Christmas. That was until your parents asked if you wanted to open the presents that evening versus the normal morning ritual.

    Reality, it’s a tough thing to deal with at times. And that’s why I drink. A lot.

    You’ll hear me whining about Will’s for the next three weeks and if you don’t like it you can get out, or unsubscribe to this RSS feed.

    But you won’t because I’m so witty and adorable.

    Spilledbeer All right enough about me. But, oh, how I love me. Okay, seriously, though, back to Will’s. You need to frequent that place as much as possible the next three weeks. I will hopefully be there, depending on how high of a tab I still owe him from the night before (I know, I’m such a hypocrite). But you need to be there not just to cry over spilled beer at the bar about the last days of one of Orlando’s most beloved pubs, but also to help the man himself, Will Walker, find a new location. There are a ton of fantastic events happening there over the next couple of weeks to do just that.

    KOW

    Fri August 11th
    10 p.m. $10 21&up
    KOW
    Not so much a fundraiser, but their last Will's show ever....

    The Pimpin' Ho Down Car Wash

    Sunday August 13th
    1 p.m. $5 after 6 p.m. 18 & up
    Bands starts @ 6 p.m.
    Preacher Bill & The Prophets
    The Kenders
    Guage
    Apocalypse-Go-Go

    A charity but not for Will's Pub. I mention only because one of my favorite ladies, Jessica Pawli (I swear 105.9 is not paying me a dime), will be "working" the lot.

    Jason Ferguson and Bao Le-Huu (they're such a cute couple) present a benefit for finding a new home for the pub on Friday August 18th
    8 p.m. $8 18 & up
    The Punching Contest
    Travis Adams
    New Roman Times
    Matthew john
    History
    Mike Dunn
    Kingsbury
    Christina Wagner

    Severance Fest

    Sun Aug 20
    3 p.m. $10 All Ages
    Free BBQ with your cover
    The Hamiltons
    Carllsle
    New Mexican Disaster Squad
    Suburban Lockdown
    Fashion Fashion & the Image Boys
    Polluted Youth
    Country Slashers
    Racin For Pinks
    The Broomheads
    Recycled Ruins

    Willwalker Most importantly if you know of any place where the bar can move to, for the love of everything good in this world tell or e-mail Will Walker at thepublife@aol.com.

    Worst bathroom in Orlando OR Fastest way to make someone gag

    You hear worst bathroom in Orlando and everyone has an opinion. I know you guys are shouting out Will’s Pub or the Court and Central dungeon shared by Cleo’s, Suite B and too many for me to list right now. Those are pretty foul, but I get paid for my opinion and those don't match up to the